Debra Santamaria started dealing drugs as a young teenager. At the height of her criminal career she was charged with possession of over 80 tons of marijuana after several years of federal investigations and stings.

Q: How did your career with drugs begin?

I had a real poor home life- a lot of fussing, fighting between my parents. I ran away a lot and my father would always find me. When I was 14 I started an underground newspaper and met some college kids at Cornell and they all smoked pot. I was very young when I started in the business. I dealt to them.

Anyway, I came South and there was such a market for it. People down here party more than they do up North!

First time I was busted, I was 15. I was a minor. I was incarcerated for that. I was a ward of the state of New York when I was 14 because I was running away so much. When I was 15 I was busted for pot while on probation. But my probation officer spoke in court about all my abuse at home and they released me.

I became an emancipated minor when I was 16- I had to live by certain conditions of the court. I came to North Carolina when I was 24 and I was dealing. I had gone to college in New York and gave that up because I was making so much money in the pot business.

"I came to realize what addiction is."

I went to prison in 1979 for a possession charge. But I got smart with the judge and they railroaded me. When I got out I married my son’s dad- that was a real violent marriage. And I picked up a cocaine habit. And it was a real bad one.

I started using drugs when I was 14- I was a drug user all my life. I lost a child because of my cocaine addiction in 1983. My husband and I separated. My husband had put me out really- he said, “I don’t love you anymore.” And that’s because he was making so much money- 100,000’s of dollars. And he got caught up with it, it was a new lifestyle. He was a poor Johnston County boy. He took a picture with his first million! He got real violent with me when we separated because then he wanted me to come back home.

In 1984 I got sober and clean.

Q: Why did things change for you?

The whole face of the industry started to change. It was becoming violent. It just wasn’t fun anymore- you were constantly worried, afraid you were going to jail, that someone would tell on you.

While in the county jail in El Paso- a lot of things happened that year. It really started back in 1983 when I lost that child. It’s’ what I call my journey in Christ- what is right and what is wrong. For me, I had a lot of mixed messages in my life about what was right and what was wrong because of the way I was reared. Anyway, I had committed my life to living for God in the county jail in 1995.

The Lord took me on a journey. While in [prison in] Dublin, California, I took a LifeChanges course- I met a guy, Dr. Merrick. I had to beg to get in this class. During orientation in prison (even though I was waiting for trial I was in prison) Dr. Merrick came in and told us about this class. I told myself I got to change my life. I wrote in a cop-out to get in his class. No response. I wrote again. He responded and said you don’t have enough time to complete the class. So I saw him and said- I don’t want to take your class for a certificate- I want to change my life. I need someone to help show me how.

But he said something in that class that always sat with me- “How many of you women have never cooperated with the government?” And I was one of the first to raise my hands. I was proud of not cooperating with the government. And he says “oh yeah, you stand up, but stand up for what? A bunch of drug dealers? And your kids are being raised by someone else. And the folks you are protecting will be dealing through your kids when they grow up.” That really got to me. What was I standing up for??

Facing significant drug charges in 1997, she pleaded guilty:

As soon as I plead guilty they started interviewing me that very afternoon. They couldn’t wait. I was interviewed 17 times.

It was really grueling, but it was good for me- secrets will keep you sick. It was very therapeutic. When they were through they sent me to Mariana, Florida and then I was sent on to Danbury, Connecticut. When I went to Danbury I had a 22 year sentence.

When I got to Danbury there was a drug and alcohol program- DAP- it was one year long and took a year off your sentence if you completed it successfully. But you had to be 36-months short to get in the program – so I knew I wouldn’t get in. But they made an exception for me. I didn’t consider myself an addict because I had quit cocaine, but I went and just sat and listened. When I started that program I had this attitude that my addiction wasn’t as bad as the other women’s addictions because I just smoked marijuana and drank at that time.

I came to realize what addiction is. You don’t have to be addicted to just drugs and alcohol. You can be addicted to anything: sex, gambling, money, work. An addiction is an addiction is an addiction.

They used a bio-psycho-social model there. They even had a segment where you drew your family tree. It was the most amazing thing to draw my family tree. It was amazing to see my family line on both sides- how many addicts and how many alcoholics, how many sexual predators and how many criminals- you saw the genetics of it. It was amazing. It was the best program in the world. But now they’ve shortened it to just 6 months. But if you are an addict like I am- you need a year. You need a year. You need long term rehabilitation.

“I started talking about it and I started healing.”

I wasn’t born a criminal, I became a criminal- when I was a little girl, because of my family life. My lying and stealing began when I was 6 or 7 years old. It was a survival mechanism. I learned all of this- when I was in Danbury- when I had to write my life story. I was in the trauma group because of my childhood sexual abuse. I started talking about it and I started healing.

You have to have a power greater than you to believe in. You have to realize that you are going to be held accountable one day- for every thought, every deed and misdeed.

If I was out on the street paying for that kind of rehabilitation I would have been paying thousands of dollars- but of course I fought it tooth and nail at first. You have to re-live your whole life at first.

I fought my cocaine addiction for a long time- it’s a tough drug. I relapsed the last time in 1987 and it was a very different drug by that time from what I had started on.

I had to cope with feelings that I had anesthetized all my life- it was like a roller coaster.

Q: Do most prisons have treatment programs?

Oh my goodness- today- it is so hard to get in [to treatment]. The prisons are so overcrowded they have two year wait lists to get in these programs. The system we have today is one of punishment- it is not one of rehabilitation. If I wanted to make connections in prison… heck… if you’re not a criminal when you go to prison, you’ll be one when you get out. There’s nothing nice in there. Prison is not the answer. I see girls come into prison and they just get so hard.

Q: How did this affect your children?

I was lucky, my friends took in my kids. I didn’t even see my youngest until he was six years old. There are so few women’s facilities. With women- the kids are so far away from their moms. And most of the time, both parents are incarcerated. And if the man is the one in prison, that woman will do just about anything to get to that man and take the kids with her.

My young daughter is in therapy. My oldest boy needs it. He has a real problem with trust, commitment. I think it is due to my incarceration.

Q: With 20 years involvement with the criminal justice system- what do you think needs to be changed first?

First thing I would change is the sentencing guidelines. I would give the discretion back to the courts. Everyone on this earth is different, comes from different backgrounds- they need to be looked at as individuals. They have given way too much power to these prosecutors.

People think federal prison is a country club- whew! Oh my God. They left about 3-400 of us in Danbury when those girls from DC came up [Women from DC area prisons were dispersed to other prisons around the nation]. They split them all up in different prisons. But because Danbury would house high security, the worst of the worst went there.

Q: So did that affect your daily life?

Oh absolutely, you had to get hardcore. And I cannot shake it for the life of me. I guess you call it institutionalized. They would make shanks and go for your face. Because women care about their face. They run in gangs in there.