Candy is a counselor at Man Alive, Baltimore ’s first methadone program (and the nation’s second). She has worked at Man Alive for 15 years now after first being a patient.

Q: How did you get to Man Alive?

I have worked here for 15 years- but I was a patient first.

I was lucky to get a job in a treatment center after being in one. There’s lots of rules. You can’t be in treatment somewhere and work there. There’s a lot of rules. Too many! Its hard to be familiar with all of them.

I was in a treatment program at Sinai, I went through detox, I was doing fine. I had a child. I started doing a little drugs again but my husband was at Sinai and he didn’t want me to go back there. We’ve been married 27 years now. So the director recommended Man Alive.

Methadone has been great for us- we have two houses now. My husband is a roofing contractor. We’re just your normal neighbors. People don’t know. There’s been no slip-ups.

“It just breaks your heart that you can’t help everybody who’s trying to get treatment.”

Q: How did you meet your husband?

Through another friend in treatment. We met each other and liked each other. We weren’t using together though- we met at Sinai.

Q: How did you get involved with drugs?

I went to a private girl’s school all my life- pretty privileged. But you know, drugs aren’t choosey. I had been going with this guy who’s friends were using once in a while. But you know- it was the late 60’s. But then it became a one night thing and then a two night thing. I was addicted to delotid and after a while heroin as well. If you can’t get delotid you get heroin. Its not nice being sick [from withdrawal]. If you don’t get in a program you just stay in the same circles until you get locked up.

We have a tremendous waiting list here- you just can’t help everybody that calls. It just breaks your heart that you can’t help everybody who’s trying to get treatment.

It would help so much if you could just go to your doctor. If you could get into treatment without much rigamorale. Because people give up. They get lost. And sometimes they try again and they might luck out. But its not easy- it takes a lot of work- a lot of phone calls.

We have some folks that call regularly just to see if they can get in. I believe in treatment on Deamnd. It is much needed- the doctors would be the way to have that. I know they have Buprenorphine but if they could give methadone too, it is a medical problem. Doctors can treat alcoholism, why not drug addiction? That’s what I told the [state] senate.

I think there’s a lot more people out there addicted that they realize and the population gets younger and younger.

They need something. The day people make a call is the day people should get help. There’s got to be a place where the day they call they get help because otherwise you lose too many people.

Q: How do you incorporate Harm Reduction into your approach?

We don’t put people back on the street just if they have positives [meaning test results that show they have been using street drugs while in treatment]. We treat the disease. If you put someone on the street just because they have positives what does that do? It doesn’t help anybody but the dealers! We detox people very rarely. Our director doesn’t believe in that- she really believes in harm reduction- working it out until you find a solution. Maybe switch the counselors, get a psychiatrist.

And we have one of the best doctors, Dr. Terry Fitzgerald. Some in the field are so cold- like they’ve heard it all before. But he is sincere, he listens. He wants to help. He’s a good guy. We need more doctors like that- that understand people, addictions and needs.

“And then you wake up sick one day and then the real work begins.”

Q: Why do you think so many people get addicted to drugs?

I don’t think people go out to get addicted- but you do it once and then it just kind of happens. And then you wake up sick one day and then the real work begins. Just to stay well- it’s not about the high anymore. It’s about the shot to get through the day. You kind of start hating yourself- that’s why people turn to treatment- they get tired of that.

Once they get in here- boy they change! They change so much. All the lying can stop. You can get your life back in control. It gives you a chance to love yourself again. A lot of people try to kill themselves when they’re out there- its hard to live with yourself. You end up in jail. All kinds of people- nurses, all kinds of jobs. Addiction’s not picky.

“It gives you a chance to love yourself again.”

People get addicted, too, because they can forget about things. Forget the bad things that happen to them.

I was glad for treatment- it changed my whole life- but I was ready. I was ready for it to work.

At first I was bouncing because you know- I tried detox, different programs. As soon as you pick up the phone- that’s the first step. But it’s hard to get in treatment now. And we keep a lot of our patients so there’s not a lot of turnaround unless we get a grant.

Q: What do you think people get out of being in prison?

Nothing! Learning more crime- how to get over better. In general, they come out ten times worse. I hear you can get drugs in jail. I don’t think it does a whole lot for people in jail.

My husband and I have a friend on a 25 year sentence because of the three strikes law. He does the same thing over and over. They’re not helping him, changing anything. The deal is – the day they walk out the door they need to come here.

What shot do you have if you’re just sent out the door? But you have a shot if you leave jail and come here to see a counselor. At least you have a chance.

But more people come out and do the same thing. They just learn how to be do it better.

Most people who go to jail aren’t bad criminals. They are just doing things to get money to get drugs. They’re sick. They wouldn’t do those things if they weren’t sick. It’s just not the answer for non-violent criminals. If we had treatment on demand, they might not end up there. They could have seen a doctor instead of ending it in front of a judge. I think treatment on demand would eliminate a lot of the stress on the jails and the courts. Our jails are overcrowded as it is. And I bet it is a lot from drug cases.

“What shot do you have if you’re just sent out the door? But you have a shot if you leave jail and come here to see a counselor. At least you have a chance.”

Q: Given that people who are addicted are sick and need medical care, didn’t they still break the law in the first place?

You can’t put blinders on, you have to look at the whole picture.

You know there are some people who get addicted from medicine- like Oxycontin- they have an injury or surgery and because they are sick and taking the medication they get addicted. But then the doctor stops giving it to them. It’s not something you plan on- it just happens that way.