Al, “The Felon,” was a patient at Discovery House methadone clinic. He is also a stand up comedian/motivational speaker on the addiction and recovery circuit. He has a website for bookings, www.felonoreilly.com. I would highly recommend it.

I was a client here, about four or five years ago, for a very short period of time.

Q: Tell me about your drug history.

I started drinking and drugging around 14. Got into both simultaneously. From booze to weed to pills very quickly within a matter of weeks and within two years I was injecting cocaine- I did that for about 15 years and then I switched to heroin. Started shooting heroin, stopped cocaine. Like most things in my life, my solutions were worse than the problem.

I’ve been in 16 treatment facilities, been incarcerated 7 times. Only time for me, when I wouldn’t have been able to put together any long term sobriety- it started in a jail cell. I think in a lot of cases, there’s people that end up in jail that don’t need to be there and don’t deserve to be and then there are other people like myself where incarceration played a major role in my recovery.

Although I think you can’t completely wipe incarceration out of the picture. It does have its place. I don’t think I would have ever learned how to live one day at a time- I wouldn’t have learned any tolerance for other people- until I was forced to live in some sort of harmony with- harmony is not stabbing each other.

Q: Treatment facilities in several different states? Prison seven times, how did that work? Were you offered treatment a few times?

I was ordered into AA back before they were court ordering people into AA. That was in Massachusetts. I was given the option of joining AA or doing a year in jail. Without even thinking about it, I took the year in jail because I knew I could get drugs and booze in jail and I knew I couldn’t live without them- I did that on more than one occasion.

After taking jail over AA, I’d get out of jail and my probation or parole would force me to go to AA anyway- they didn’t tell me about that! Once again, my solutions were worse than my problem.

I had done a lot of county time.

Q: Was there a difference between the three different systems?

The federal system, you do a lot more time. You get 54 days a year good time. No parole. Physically, the facilities are much better- there is much more to do, much more to offer. The food is better, recreation is better. The schooling, if you chose it is better. And the class of criminals is better.

Most county jails today there’s no criminals in there- no career criminals. The county jails today are filled with drunk drivers and wife beaters. It’s a whole different mentality. You know what I mean? You go in the counties now and those guys are lined up to tell on you. When I first started doing time, you were mixed in with murderers, some guys that were pretty mobbed up. Now, you don’t have that. Now you got guys who have never done time and all they do is whine.

“In prison… harmony is not stabbing each other…”

Q: So where are the murderers now?

State and federal. Mostly state because murder is not a federal offense unless the fed’s happen to have jurisdiction.

When I first started doing time, being a heroin addict was just about being a rapist. It was about the worst thing you could be. And now- I would say 90% are drug addicts- it’s totally acceptable.

The stigma of being a heroin addict in prison- as more heroin addicts come into prison, then that becomes the norm. So the more heroin addicts you lock up, then that becomes the norm in prison. So, if 10% of the prison still doesn’t like heroin addicts, who gives a shit? Because we’re 90% strong.

Q: What finally happened that led you to go into recovery successfully?

I don’t think there was any one thing. In fact, I know there wasn’t. It was a culmination and this is a progressive disease. But for me, the recovery was progressive also. It took all those real options and all those trips back to jail. Drugs and booze kicked my ass. The score was about a million to nothing and I wanted one more chance to try to do it right.

One thing that sticks out in my mind is that I was in the federal penitentiary and we used to have burrito parties in my cell- six of us would cram in there. I’ve always been a joker and a smart ass- one night I had those guys laughing so hard, they were begging me to shut up. At lights out, everybody left and I was laying there by myself and I realized I was sitting there with no drugs and no booze- laughing harder than I can remember laughing ever in my life. And it gave me that little spark of hope that I could have fun without drugs. That gave me the hope. Learning how to live without them- was a long, drawn out process.

That’s when I, I remember having that little thought. You know what, maybe I could do this. I was mandated into treatment. I was mandated into AA by the courts. What that did was, when I got to a point where I finally had had enough, I knew where to go.

If there was anything I had to say was the reason I am clean and sober today- it’s all the help- when I stuck my hand out and asked for help- that’s exactly what I got.

Q: In Portland, is it easy for people to get treatment if they want it?

More so than other cities. Portland is like one big rehab. There are almost 100 meetings a week in the Portland/South Portland/Westbrook area. 100 a week. For drugs and alcohol.

And I was going to one a week and couldn’t figure out why this wasn’t working.

Q: Overall, is this something that Maine is addressing?

No. I mean, I think they are addressing it as well as anybody else. But these meetings, they started in the recovery community. You know what I mean? These were no advocacy group doing any kind of prevention work. These started from people who had hit their bottom. As far as Maine or Portland as a community or as a city, no, I don’t think they are addressing it.

The reality is that law enforcement and treatment facilities are failing miserably.

Q: Why is treatment failing?

Because they’re, because they’re under the guidelines of the insurance company first of all. So it’s all about money. It’s not about recovery- recovery is dictated by money. They used to have 28 day programs, they used to have 14 day programs. Now you are in detox about 3 days and then you are asked to come back on an out patient basis. You get no break because you are sent right back to where you came from and expected to stay clean.

It’s not the treatment facilities’ fault, but if that’s what they’re going to do, someone, somehow, somewhere has to come up with safe, sober housing. Because if they don’t, they’ll come back to the same environment where they were getting high and drunk to begin with, the same environment they sought help from.

Q: And why law enforcement?

I think law enforcement in the criminal justice system it’s a real dilemma for them. Drugs is the cash cow of the criminal justice system. It justifies huge chunks of money going to law enforcement, huge chunks of money going to the courts, and even with those huge chunks of money they are overcrowded. Then it justifies building more prisons. So all three phases of the criminal justice system at this point are reliant on all those dollars. So if you stop the flow of drugs that takes away their livelihood. So what you’re asking them to do actually is to become cancerous and I believe a lot of people in the field as individuals are very caring people and very concerned about addicts. But, on the other hand, they represent a system that what supports it is its enemy.

Q: Looking back, why did you start drinking and drugging?

To be honest with you, I had a prison counselor ask me one time to try to remember back to the last time in my laugh that I felt any sort of peace and serenity and that is when I was five years old. As soon as I started the first grade, as soon as my world got bigger it became unmanageable. I was always uncomfortable around other people. It was years before I started drinking and drugging. I came from a family that never drank. My father and mother never drank. They weren’t perfect, but if they were, I would have drank over that.

I have no doubt at all that I was born with this disease. I can remember trying and trying and trying tonight. I could never do it. I would get three or fours beers in me and then I would need the cocaine and then I would be chasing bags of dope to come off the cocaine. If I could just drink I would probably still be out there drinking. I think of it as the drugs saved my life because it brought me to a bottom quicker.

 Q: Now a critic could say that another person may also be born with addiction, but they could choose not to use alcohol or drugs.

It’s hard for me to comment on what someone else might have done. All I know is my story and where it went. I guess what I would say is that I got a shit load of friends that ended up just like me only not quite as lucky- most of them ended up dead or in prison.

You know, the American Medical Association has proved that this is genetically connected. They’ve uncovered the smoking gun- you can’t really refute that. Twenty years ago they didn’t even know this is a disease. Until you can get people to accept it as a disease it won’t be treated as a disease- that goes for people in recovery too. Because I would sit at meetings for a long time and I would call this a disease but did I really consider it a disease?

When my father had his second heart attack, I didn’t stand over his bed shaking m y head saying when are you going to learn? That’s the difference, it’s hard for people to understand because they think we choose to pick up the drink again- but it’s a malfunction of the brain.

I remember at 18 or 19 years old and asking myself how the hell do I stop doing something when my brain was telling me it was okay??

After I got all done with my prison sentence and my parole I put together 5 years clean. But then my parents died about seven month apart and I remember thinking, “I’ll never again have an excuse like that.” And I started doing dope again after my mother died. I scammed myself into getting- you know what I mean? I remember having that thought. Your parents only die once. And I had cut back on meetings because my mother was terminal. I couldn’t take an hour to go to a meeting because I was taking care of my mother- but she was terminal.

I had every intention of getting high for a couple of weeks and then going back into AA and it took me over a two year period, 12 detoxes and finally a six month prison bid. I am coming upon three and a half years now.

Q: Is that when you started with Discovery House?

Back in 1999 when I was trying to get clean- that whole two years I was out there using, I was trying to get clean again. I came here for a month.

Q: So, what’ve you done in these three and a half years post incarceration?

I have my own small carpentry business. I do a lot of comedy shows in the recovery community. A lot of it is 12 step based. I volunteer at Mercy Hospital.

Q: What do you mean it’s 12 step based?

I perform at some night clubs, but I want to take this into the recovery community. That’s my choice. Most of my humor is recovery based. I talk about what a screw up I was and the insidiousness and the insanity of this disease- how things looked real and proper to me, and I just kind of use humor to point out the insanity of an addictive addiction.

Basically I tell people what a screw up I was and they pay me money. They laugh and pay me money.

I just did a show for the state prison. They have a nine month treatment program there behind the wall. That was the audience. I got a standing ovation. To be able to go in there and give something back, because that’s my crowd. I got like 60 thank you letters from them guys. They asked me to come back in December. Because I understand first hand how someone can use prison as a solution. I started using prison to get out of a bad marriage because I just couldn’t manage anything on the street. I couldn’t stop drinking and drugging on my own.

I don’t know if you can understand this, but you sit in prison, and your whole goal is getting out. That’s all you want. The day you go in- getting out. The whole time, your biggest fear is getting out.

So the thing you want the very most in life is also your biggest fear. Doing the time was easy.

Q: How would you describe the drug problem in Portland?

Epidemic. I’m sure you’ve been made aware that per capita, Maine has the highest opiate addiction rate in the country- you wouldn’t think that.

“The way life should be.” That’s the state slogan!! Hahahaa.

I don’t think we are a whole lot worse off than most states- other than our resources are limited because we are like the third poorest state.

I think any attempt at recovery or prevention has to start within the recovering community. Then we can get the corporations and government officials.

Q: How do the law enforcement folks treat the drug problem?

I don’t think the cops per say have a lot to say about it. I think it is very frustrating for them because they keep arresting the same guy over and over and over again and nothing happens. I ran into a cop about four or five months ago. Because he hadn’t seen me in three years he thought I was in the joint. They don’t see that people get clean and sober because they no longer have contact with them so they just assume we’re in the joint. I think it’s important if in order to build a successful recovery community and have community involvement, I think it has to start, law enforcement has to be a big part of it, and they need to accept and embrace the disease concept and treatment. If you can get law enforcement behind it in the courts and as allies, then the consensus of the general public will follow.

Q: What role does race play in society in Portland, or in drugs, the enforcement of laws.

I don’t know that it’s so much race as class. In my experience there’s more white people selling up here than most places I’ve been. But then that could be the ration of minorities to whites, which leads me to suspect it doesn’t matter that drugs are going to prevail. Whatever color of people you’ve got, the addiction always wins. The blacks we do have here are mostly refugees, you don’t have a lot of third generation blacks from New York wanting to move to Maine. We’re a poor state- what’s to draw them?

Q: Was there a noticeable difference in the racial composition of the prisons compared to the community?

A lot more white people in prison here because there’s such a difference- such a big ratio.

Q: What would be your top priority? What would you do first?

I would illegalize oxycontin and start over. I am not saying that oxycontin itself is a bad thing, but you talk to all these young kids today on heroin and they all started on oxycontin- how did they get it? It’s because of the regulation and how it is prescribed- we need to take a look at it.

Then, once you’ve got that opiate addiction, and that supply of oxycontin runs out, your going to shoot dope. You’re not going to sit there dope sick. It’s supply and demand.

Q: When did oxycontin become a problem?

Within the last five or six years it’s really gotten out of control. At least that’s when I noticed it.

We refer to Washington County as the “Land of Contin.” The whole tribe of Native Americans up there has been wiped out by oxycontins. If you are going to prescribe oxycontins, you might as well just open up heroin clinics. It has it’s place as a pain medication, but the risks…

Q: Why do you think opiate addiction is such a problem out here?

The level of education and so many remote areas- kids experiment out of boredom. And the problem with opiates- they cure everything.