Mike is a resident at Share House in Missoula, Montana. Share House is a co-ed residential treatment program.

I got to Share House… I got one DUI initially. That was a slap on the wrist, but there wasn’t anything came about that. I got another DUI within a couple of months and also a possession charge for a marijuana pipe and some marijuana on me. What became of that, was I got put on misdemeanor supervision and some fines. Eventually I was using meth, drinking a lot, smoking marijuana and that just didn’t go well with my probation officer. After a couple attempts of revocation of my probation I finally got into in-patient treatment.

I did two months at an in-patient program in Butte. From there, I came to Turning Point and was doing out-patient. I got a lousy food service job and I relapsed back to drinking. My drinking to progressively worse and I started having blackouts. I moved in here to kind of save my ass.

I got in here actually within a week of applying really.

Q: How old were you when you got that first DUI?

That would have been January 2003. I was a 20. I am 21 now.

Q: When did you start with drugs to being with?

Probably when I was about 14 or 15. That just started when… I had had clinical depression for a while, especially in my youth. I just didn’t click with… I didn’t fit in anywhere I guess. The stoners, dope users, they accept everybody.

From there, I started about 14, 15, and then it just, shoo. Off to the races. I dropped out of school. I worked a lot of jobs. This was in Hamilton. I moved up here to get sober.

Q: How was your experience in the Butte in-patient?

I guess I had some realizations that I was an addict. I accepted that. I didn’t really want to accept that I was an alcoholic. I guess I still had to prove that to myself. My experience with getting into in-patient treatment was kind of lousy. The first time I applied, it was August, 2003 and then I got rejected. I had to wait until January of 2004.

They said I, okay, let’s see, they were skipping me a level of treatment. When they found out I was using a lot of meth, they referred me to in-patient.

I didn’t go to detox, I guess I didn’t need it. The first action was January, 2004.

Q: What happened over those five or six months?

I continued to use. I got locked up for probation violations from the drug use. One time I did two weeks in late August. Then I got in for drinking on probation in December.

The one I went into in Butte was MCDC. It’s the only state funded one. I suppose I really didn’t know my options. I was kind of in a haze really.

Q: Was meth your drug of choice?

Yeah.

Q: When you were 14, 15, what drug did you start with?

That was alcohol, marijuana, hallucinogens, some sedatives. I pretty much did whatever I could use.

Q: Was it difficult to find?

No. No. It was readily available.

Q: Did meth become more popular, or was it a natural progression for you to start using meth?

Yeah, I believe the Midwest has seen a rise in popularity of methamphetamine use, and availability. It’s easy to get, it’s cheaper than other stimulants. Yeah, just the intensity of the drug itself. I was a smoker.

Q: Why do you think your use began to begin with?

I think it was self-medicating.

Q: When did you first realize you had problems with depression?

I must have been about 15. My mom dragged me to a professional- I didn’t like that idea. I kind of rejected any help I could have gotten. I didn’t like the… From there, I just didn’t care. It was about getting high.

Q: When did your parents realize you were using drugs?

I dropped out of high school at fifteen and a half. I wanted to party. They didn’t like that idea, so I just kind of boogied out of there.

That would have been ’98.

I maintained a fulltime job until 2003 when the meth use was- it was just really hard to function. From there, I have just put my recovery first.

I lived in kind of, flop houses for a while. I couch surfed. I had my own place for a little while. Drinking and drugs were the priority. I was thinking about this earlier. My drug habit would be, let’s see, it was about $350 a week.

Q: How did your use specifically interfere with work?

On the weekends, you know, I would start Friday and be up all weekend long. By Monday, without sleeping or eating for Friday, Saturday or Sunday- for 72 hours, it just takes a toll on you. It’s hard to function. You start hallucinating. It’s a really miserable state to be in. So…

Q: Did any friends or relatives try to intervene?

Uhh… no. If they would’ve, I would’ve pushed them out. I pretty much shut out any positive people in my life really.

Q: What caused you to realize you had a problem you needed to do something about?

When I couldn’t stop using for the probation. That’s when I realized I had a problem. I was getting high the night before probation meetings- that’s just insane, I knew I’d get caught with a UA.

Q: How did your probation officer address your use?

She uh, they, my memory’s kind of dazed- she took me to court over it. The judge said I needed to go to an out-patient treatment. I was mandated. There was another incident and basically they said I would have to go to in-patient treatment. Then I got locked up. That would have been the longest, it was about two weeks. They kind of pointed me to a program. The initial program I got into was in Hamilton. I did get anything out of that one at all. I don’t know why. The treatment I have been getting over here has been excellent. You know, I didn’t get any one on ones there.

Q: What have you learned since you have been at Share House?

I’ve been stabilized from my alcoholism and my co-occurring depression. They got me the meds I couldn’t get, meds for the depression. I have ADD and a sleeping disorder. That really helped me stable out. This program, it gave me the structure I needed to stay sober, accountable.

Q: What is the toughest part about being here?

Since this is a structured program, I have to plan my week in advance and so I have to write a pass out in advance. I can’t just go take a walk whenever I want. But it’s been a true blessing to be here.

Q: How has your family been through this?

My family has been supportive.

Q: Did you communicate with them while you were working on your own?

Yeah, yeah I was… kind of. I kind of shut them out. I wish one of them would have said, “Hey, I think you’ve got a problem,” but…

Q: What are you looking forward to at this point?

I am hoping to get into school, get some formal education, some job training… Well, my goal is, I’d like to have a family. Right now, I am trying to get into a Job Corpse program. That’s free training and they provide you with free room and board. I think Clinton, like I think I can’t get any Pell Grants for school, which kind of puts a damper on some educational opportunities.

Q: When did you find out you couldn’t get Pell Grants?

Well, that would have been this year.

Q: How would you describe the nature of the drug problem around here?

Um… It’s pretty widespread. I think that’s you know, supply meets demand. I’d definitely say the methamphetamine use has grown rapidly compared to when I was partying in the late 90’s. It’s just a cheap drug to make. A $1,500 investment can yield a kilo of meth. When you’re talking a hundred dollars a gram, that’s a lot of money. I knew some people that were manufacturing.

Q: Where are you friends and acquaintances that you had been using with?

They are in prison or they’re dead. A couple people OD’d. I know a couple people that killed themselves in a psychosis.

They have done some education on general awareness about the meth program. But there solution is prison, and that, that doesn’t do any good. Mandatory minimums never really… Um… I don’t know.

Q: Do you know anyone you used to use with who has sobered up and stopped?

Umm… no.

Q: What do you think should be done to better address drug abuse around here?

More accessible in-patient treatment and uh, more treatment centers, more pre-release, those kinds of programs that help with the transition. I ah, I don’t know.

Q: What kind of drug education program did you have in the school system?

You know, I went through DARE. I completed the DARE program.

When I was 16, 16 or 17, I sold marijuana to an undercover and then they waited until I was 18 and they served me papers. I had no idea. They waited to try me as an adult. There could have been intervention right there, but it was put to a deferred prosecution and nothing happened to that. Nothing came about on that one, I had to pay them $500 so they would defer prosecution. If I had been tried for it, it would have been a felony offense. Looking back on the whole ordeal, they could have been like, “Hey, this kid’s got a problem.” You know, and then I could have gotten more education about the problem I didn’t realize I had at the time.