Frankie is a client at Homeward Bound, a large treatment facility in Dallas, Texas offering a wide array of rehabilitation services and programming.

Q: How did you get to Homeward Bound?

The Security Division brought me here because I kept getting arrested for public intoxication, open containers.

They had taken me and my fiancé to Green Oaks. We requested to come here because we wanted to do this together and that was a nut house in there. Well, my fiancé’s dead now.

Q: When was this?

Two weeks ago. Two weeks ago today.

Because we were together, it was hard for them to get us into the same place. They were trying to get us into out-patient.

The day they took my fiancé off of life support they met me the next Monday and brought me here, on the first.

I am homeless, we were homeless, and they just interviewed us and asked us if we would be interested in doing something and we said yeah as long as we could do it together. We had tried other places, put in applications and they’d say no. No one wanted to give us a job. And we couldn’t get treatment anywhere together. Because we were getting married, we thought we should do it together, there’s no point in one of us getting off and not the other.

Q: When did you first talk to them?

About a month ago. Well, the day the police seen us talk to them and set up an interview to meet with them the next day, they came and took my fiancé to detox that day, jail more or less. He passed the sobriety test and everything. We were just sitting there, reading the paper and getting some sun. They just took him.

I had some friends out there. He got out that night, I knew he’d be out that night. We knew where to meet up. But we couldn’t keep our appointment with the folks we were meeting. We met them later and they got us in Green Oaks for detox, but they didn’t do the treatment there. It was just 23 hours for alcohol detox.

Then they let us go. They were going to give use information about this treatment center, but we could never get a hold of them. There was never no answer when we called. We tried for two days. We used the phone of some people we knew from church. They were a big support.

So we just kept doing what we were doing: drinking and hanging out.

Q: How did he die?

They say he had a severe head trauma. I went to detox. And I also went to jail that week. That’s the only time we were separated- when they took once of us to detox. Cuz the Dallas Police Department messed with us a lot because he was black. They gave us a real hard time about that. So I thought he was in jail or detox. But I woke up that morning and they said he was in the hospital, that he had been on life support since Monday.

That was two weeks ago. He’s been dead two weeks today.

Q: Do you know how the head trauma came about?

No. No, I don’t know. They are thinking he fell. But, well, in front of me, he always fell forward. But they are saying he fell backward. They are thinking he choked on something. I wasn’t there. It was severe head trauma to the back of the head. He was brain dead. He died six, seven hours later.

Q: The Police gave you guys a hard time? How did they do that?

Every time they would see us, they would just mess with us. They would say, “Every time we see you, we’re going to F with you.” They would come out because they knew where our sleeping spot was. They would say, “Frankie, you’re not supposed to be with him! You’re white…” They would take our stuff, throw our blankets away. This one officer made a remark about all our stuff being gone, they were in on that.

Q: Do you know their names?

No. I asked for his badge number because they were wearing winter jackets and he refused. But I’ll catch him this summer. I was doing a thing for the homeless, I was taking pictures of our daily life- and they threw my camera away, the through my bag away.

All we were doing was sleeping and they pepper sprayed us- of course. I asked if I could take their picture for my thing on the homeless. I am sure I got smart with them because they were messing with us. And they took my camera and they through it away.

Q: Why did they mace you?

They pulled the blankets up off of our heads and they maced us to wake us up. They’re not supposed to, but some of them do. It’s not the first time that it’s happened. It’s only certain ones that do it. It’s not all of them.

Q: When did you start drinking?

First time I got drunk, I was about five years old. We would drink wine with our meals. I was little and I thought it was real cute, so I traded my brother my garlic bread for his wine. I got drunk and would get daddy’s attention. I didn’t really start drinking hard and heavy until I was about 18. I was scared of getting caught by my dad in high school.

I got married when I was 16 to get away from home. I didn’t drink too much, but we smoked a lot of pot. A lot of pot. I got pregnant, so I really didn’t do nothing until I was 18 because I had the baby when I was 17.

Q: Why did you want to get away from home when you were 16?

I used to get beat up. I come from a very strict, abusive household.

Q: From drinking heavily at 18, how did that progress?

Once I started, it was like it was all there was to do. I was in what I call a party phase. I thought I was all grown up. Back then, I was of legal age- you could go into bars with your legal guardian and my husband was my legal guardian. That was back in ‘76, ’75. It’s not like that no more.

Q: When did you wind up on the street?

Almost two years ago. I lost my dad in December and then my mother in March. It’ll be two years the 25 th of March. I went to California to work for a while and then I went back to Kansas City because I got homesick and I’ve been on the streets ever since. I didn’t care, I felt like I didn’t have a purpose, not taking care of my mom no more. My daughter is grown, has a family.

Q: When did you get to Dallas?

Since June. I haven’t been here that long. But the Police sure know who I am.

Q: Did you meet your fiancé out here?

Yes, but I actually had known him in Missouri a long time ago. I think I actually drew his blood once. I know his aunt and uncle, I know where they live, I used to draw their blood all the time. I am a medical assistant, a phlebotomist. Shoot, I’ve been doing that for about 13 years. I went to a technical school in St. Louis, Missouri.

Q: What’s Kansas City like?

Cold. Huge. It’s big, real big. It’s a lot bigger than Dallas, it’s kind of like more spread out. I wish they had the train system like they have here- DART. I miss it though. I love the snow on the ground.

Q: Had you tried treatment before you came here?

Well, we were trying to get into Solace.

Years ago I did, that was in Missouri. I’ve been in treatment maybe three times before. The other three times were in Missouri. The first time was go to treatment or go to jail. I went to treatment.

Q: How did that work?

It was in-patient. At the time, for me, it worked out pretty good. I stayed sober for about, I want to say 120 days, but maybe it was 90. I got my feet wet. The next time, I stayed sober a year and a half, maybe two years. This last time, I stayed sober three years, until I lost my parents.

To be honest about it, I quit going to meetings and calling my sponsor. I quit doing what I was supposed to do. It was after my mother died. When she died, her head was in my hands. Her last breath she took was in my hands.

Q: What are your plans at this point?

To get my head back on straight, try to get me a job. Find me a AA group to go to. Get my life back.

I’ve been out there running pretty hard for a couple of years.

Q: Is there anything else in particular you want to say?

I don’t know what to say. Treatment, it has its good points. It gives you a place to dry out. It teaches you different things if you want to listen. It’s better than jail cuz jail ain’t going to do nothing. Honestly, jail ain’t going to do nothin but give you an attitude. You just sit there and get mad because you can’t drink. At least here, you can always leave and go drink if you really, really want to. But in jail, I always get that attitude, I’m going to go get drunk just to show you. Making them go to jail just for an alcohol or drug problem ain’t going to help. Just cuz we’re drunks doesn’t mean we are bad people.

Q: What is it that makes someone an alcoholic?

They say it is in their genes, that it is hereditary. For me, personally, I like the effect. It makes me not care, it makes me forget about my problems for a while, until I wake up the next day. I really couldn’t tell you. It’s in your genes, I don’t know. Some people can drink normally and others can’t, like me. For me, I can’t stop until I pass out… or, go to jail. I can’t answer that.

Q: What’s it like living on street? How do people treat you?

They try to sweep you under the carpet like you’re not there. They look at you like you’re trash. A lot of them say street people are just lazy and don’t want to work. Well, no, a lot of us are very smart and have degrees. My fiancé was a surgical tech, he did a lot of construction work, he went out to the job fairs, trying to find jobs. He would ask for an application and people would tell you know because you are homeless. And there are some homeless who don’t want responsibility.

I went right downtown to a store and asked for an application and they said, we don’t need anybody, and there was a sign right there in the window, saying “Help Wanted.” I have a lot of experience as a sales clerk, too.

And it’s kind of scary out there. Because you never know. People are always stealing from you. You never know if someone is going to come up and cut your throat. If you are the new kid on the block, people want to mess with you. It sucks. It sucks.